I got my schedule for the fall semester today. Here it is:



Can I just say that Math always ruins my plans? Okay. I wanted to take Math112 (College Algebra), which was aligned with the activities (a.k.a. WORK) that I have planned for myself. However, since I had to take the placement test, it wasn't really my choice which Math class I get into. I was seriously, seriously praying that I screwed up the Math test so I'd end up with Math112. So I come in today and they tell me I'm in Math119 (Basic Calculus). Rawr. That wrecked everything. I had to look up different classes that ran at hours that would fit in my ideal schedule, blah blah blah. In the end, I really had no choice. I'm going to have to come in five days a week.

And then since I'm in Honors College, people wouldn't let me take less than fifteen credits. Weehee. I was only intent on taking twelve. *sigh*

It's a good thing my parents and I have already discussed this work vs. school thing. When it all comes down to it, school is still my number one priority. So if my schedule doesn't work for any employers out there then... whatever! I'm staying home and going on geek mode.

---------------
I feel, more than ever, that I need to get myself a laptop.

NOW ACCEPTING MONETARY CONTRIBUTIONS!!!

Labels: me

kitten posted @ 10:53 PM |



So this is how it feels to be insufficient.

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 10:44 PM |



He doesn't smoke. He doesn't drink. And he doesn't want to start working until Candy leaves for Rowan University.

Candy was right. He is perfect.

He doesn't speak a word in Filipino, so I asked him why. He said his parents never bothered to teach him, that they didn't want him to learn. I was shocked and snapped I must say I am insulted!

He said How do you think I feel?

*sigh* Not the response I expected. But it was the one I wanted to hear...

Again, he's perfect. He's... everything I wanted him to be. Everything. If I could have chosen the guy she would go out with, Phil's the one I would have picked.

Boy, oh boy, it hurts. It sucks to realize how much I pale in comparison to this demigod.

*sigh* They'll live happily ever after...

Oh. And his full name is Philip Santos. Lord. Why do you torture me so?!

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 10:11 PM |



I am yielding. My pursuit has ended, but my love has not.

---------------
Ngayong araw na ito, pumasok ako sa trabaho na isa lang ang nasa isip: Ngayon ang araw na makikilala ko ang dakilang boyfriend ni Candy.

Pag pasok ko ng trabaho, sinabi ko kaagad kay Emilee na meron akong ipapakilala sa kaniya na naghahanap ng trabaho sa tindahan. Tinanong lang niya kung kakilala ko. Sabi ko na lang oo kahit hindi. Sabi kaagad ni Emilee, walang pag-aalinlangan kahit konti, na tanggap na kung sino man yun. Sabi ko na lang, ipapakilala ko muna, tapos saka na lang siya magdecide kung tatanggapin niya or hindi.

Gumagawa ako ng halo-halo noon nang biglang sinabi sa'kin ni Frank na may naghahanap sa'kin. Tinanong ko kung sino. Napahiya pa ako ng ituro niya sa'kin yung isang lalaking nakatayo sa harap nung gawaan ng halo-halo. Tinapos ko yung ginagawa ko kaagad.

Naghugas lang ako ng kamay. Nilapitan ko ang lalaki at tinanong How can I help you? Yun kasi ang nakasanayan ko ng itanong sa mga customer ko. Ang sagot niya sa'kin, di ko malilimutan, I'm Phil.

Natatawa ako kapag naaalala ko. Ang tanga ko. Shet.

Oh. Oh! I'm sorry. Hi, I'm Kitten. sabi ko na lang.

Inabot ko ang kamay ko sa kaniya. Gusto ko sanang makipagkamay. Kinuha naman niya ang kamay ko, kaso nga lang, di ko naibigan yung pagkamay niya sa'kin. It was weak. It was the handshake of a person with very little character.

Ang una kong tanong: Do you have your resumer with you?

Yes, sabi niya, sabay abot ng resume niyang naka tiklop.

Kinainisan ko yun, sa totoo lang. Alam ko retail position lang ang gusto niya, pero sana man lang bigyan niya ng paggalang yung magbabasa ng resume niya. Sana man lang pinanatili niya itong maayos. Pero hindi. Tinupi niya.

Hawak ko ang resume niya sa mga kamay ko at dinadaanan ng mga mata ko yung mga titik, mga salita, pero hindi ko maintindihan yung nakasulat. Hindi magawa ng utak kong bumuo ng diwa sa mga nakita ko kaya tinanong ko na lang siya Are you looking for a full time or part time job?

Well, I am working somewhere else where I'm a barista.

Nang marinig ko ang salitang barista, inisip ko kaagad Starbucks! Hinanap ko sa resume niya. Wala namang Starbucks.

Are you available to work on the weekends?

Yes.

Good. The store's really busy during the weekend and we need as many people as we can to come in then.

Biglang dumaan nun si Mai.

Mai! Mai! Mai! Si Phil. Boyfriend ni Candy.

Oooh. sabi lang ni Mai.

Pagkatapos nun, pinakilala ko na siya kay Emilee. Umupo sila, nagusap ng matagal.

Habang nag-uusap sila, eto ang mga naisip ko:

(1) Gwapo siya.
(2) Matalino siya. Di niya nakalimutang ilagay sa resume niya ang GPA niya and mejo napahiya lang naman ako.
(3) Mabait siya. Mahiyain, pero mabait. Mabait.

Nagulat na lang ako bigla nung mapansin kong wala na sila sa kinauupuan nila! Umuwi na siya? Tapos na ang interview? I guess I got lost in my thoughts for quite a long time.

Salita ng salita si Emilee tungkol sa kaniya. Kesho ganito kesho ganiyan. Hindi pupumasok sa isip ko yung mga sinasabi niya. Ang gusto ko lang malaman ay kung papasok siya sa tindahan. Nung sinabi ni Emilee na bukas ay pagfi-fill up ko si Phil ng hiring paperwork, wala na lang akong nasabi. Magtatrabaho na siya sa tindahan.

Sabi ni Kuya Eric, ang mga tulad ko daw binabaril sa Luneta. Siguro nga. Mas mabuti pa nga sigurong barilin na lang ako sa Luneta ng matapos na ang lahat lahat nang ito.

I hate how I love her. And I hate how, in those few minutes, I knew he loved her too.

Labels: love, me, stories

kitten posted @ 11:32 PM |



There is so much beauty in this life and the secret to staying happy is enjoying that beauty with the best of your friends.

Having your lunch seated on a patch of grass beneath a tree's shade, driving to the music of The Scene Aesthetic, walking in the sunset, sitting by the river, and enjoying ice cream and staying quiet because there is no need for words - there is nothing lovelier on this earth.

Thanks, Mai. I don't know what I'll do without you...

---------------
We've Got Rain on Our Side :: The Scene Aesthetic

Keep me, here up on top of the mountains.
Far away from all distress, far away from all distress.
Save me, free me from all these distractions,
Violence filled interactions.
Save me, but keep me awake.

I can't seem to find a place to fit into without all these lies.
I can't even argue and to tell you the truth
Now that I've wondered throughout all these cities,
Through bright white street lights even though they're so pretty,
I just can't believe you.

(And when i'm alone, please just pick up the phone)
You'll feel better once you come back home
We'll say Just forget about all of the things you can't save.
(Take a ride out of town)
Find some place you can call your own, find yourself a new home,
(Cause i'm wondering now and how I'll get by)
Where you're never alone.
(Just keep wishing that something would change in my life)
Go ahead, run away.
Try to find myself and take a chance.

Cause the roads that we take can confine us or set us free.
Make your path, don't you break. Just need to get away.
And you've been so tied up with your life take a break from it,
Or you won't last.

Keep me, here up on top of the mountains.
Far away from all distress, far away from all distress.
Save me, free me from all these distractions,
Violence filled interactions.
Save me, but keep me awake.

I'll give you my trust, please don't break it.

Hiding from all the things, I can't help but be scared.
Leaving now starting fresh, hoping I come prepared.
Say the words and I'll try, finding faith in their lies.
Don't give up to my word, come on just let me know.
Trying hard to be brave, but you just run away.
Some things just never change, don't you dare be afraid.
Pack your things, leave this town, reminisce for awhile.
But we'll never go home.

Cause the roads that we take can confine us or set us free.
Make your path, don't you break. Just need to get away.
And you've been so tied up with your life take a break from it,
Or you won't last.

Keep me, here up on top of the mountains.
Far away from all distress, far away from all distress.
Save me, free me from all these distractions,
Violence filled interactions.
Save me, but keep me awake.

I give you my trust, please don't ever break it.

----------------
I can't wait to go back to school. Pwede bang mag-fall na? :)

*sigh* If only going back to school didn't mean less time for my friends, things would be grand. Ah, but life can never be perfect. We can only love it perfectly. And right now, I do.

---------------
Summer must do: Learn Spanish.

I'm getting an English-Spanish dictionary first thing tomorrow. Gotta start somewhere.

Labels: love, stories

kitten posted @ 11:18 PM |



I love Fridays at work. Of course I only love Fridays at work since after 4.30pm, Mai, Jen and I have the place to ourselves (or at least we would like to think so) and have more fun that we're supposed to.

We had great laughs today. Marvelous!

So I was literally running all over the store to get stuff done. For some reason, my pants kept riding down. The thing is, there was too much to do that I hadn't the time to pull them up.

There was a customer who wanted me to write on their cake. I picked up one of the pastry bags and got ready. I had my back turned on the people when, and I was honestly surprised, a man suddenly said Miss, yung pantalon mo nahuhulog na. Waaah. My face felt hot. I guess my pants were so low that he had to bring it to my attention. (In my defense, I would have pulled them back up if there weren't so many things to get done. Aaand, I had blue butter icing on my hands from the pastry bag.)

---------------
I have not the power to say no. Not even if, as Jen puts it, It's hurts! It's hurts you know! Nakakaiyak. I love her so much.

Sabi nga nila pabayaan ko na daw. Kesho I don't owe it to her, and especially him, to be doing them this favor. But then ang nasabi ko na lang ay...

But I love her. I would give anything to see her happy. Even my happiness.

---------------
Mae has a new album coming out 08.14.07. Don't like it. It's called Singularity. Don't like it. Heard the demo. Don't like it. They got signed na eh. They've said farewell to Tooth and Nail Records and said hello to Capitol Records. It's never nice when bands change labels. *sigh* The demo... it was bordering on pop and grunge. I left the grunge scene a long time ago. I guess this is bye-bye to Mae. (Which, I just learned, stands for multi-sensory aesthetic experience.)

Oh well, marami namang bagong bands diyan. Like... hm... The Scene Aesthetic. Bagong love ko sila. Yey. :)

Labels: love, music

kitten posted @ 11:30 PM |



I got my shots, yey. It's finally over, yey. *dances* Woot, woot. Woot, woot.

---------------
I love Mai. Yey.

Labels: nonsense

kitten posted @ 6:29 PM |



Sometimes, people don't know their place in this world. They don't know how much damage they do to the delicate balance of this life just by taking a little step out of line. But then, I step a little out of line once in a while too. Heck, I step out of line all the time, so it's really not my place to be whining.

One of the reasons I've stayed with Red Ribbon for so long is because I've found wonderful friends there. I've found our lovely tripod: Jen, Mai and me. Together, we've laughed, cried, fallen in and out of love and back in again. And leaving the store means leaving them.

We were talking yesterday... Tripod kami. If one of us leaves, then it'll be a dipod. And when another leaves... iPod na! Lol (That was Jen's joke. I borrowed it.) But seriously, we can't have an "iPod" at the store. If one of us leaves, we're all leaving.

And so we begin conniving. Ah! That's such a wonderful word, conniving. But it's literally what we're doing. Mai and I have started looking for other jobs (Actually, I've already found one, it's just a question of whether I want to take it.). Jen, well, she's yet to decide, but we can't leave her there by herself, really. The evil people of Red Ribbon will inevitably eat her up. And when we're finally set for another job slash career, we're leaving. All at once. All at once.

*sigh* When that day comes, I'm sure I'll cry. I have grown to love them. I realize now that I need them more than I think I do.

---------------
It's been raining and the rain always brings out the romantic in me.

It was raining and all I could think about was her. How I picked her up from the bus stop one rainy day. How I took of my jacket, gave her my umbrella and walked with her in the rain; I was soaking wet and she was perfectly dry. How, from that single moment, I realized how much I love her, how much I'm willing to give up to have her in my life. How, in my dazed and intoxicated head, I thought she could possibly love me back.

It was so sad watching the rain fall from the sky. It kept falling. And falling. And falling. Like me. I keep falling.

I love her. And I told her. I left her a voicemail and I told her. I feel stupid now. But then love makes everybody stupid.

The reason I love her is still a mystery to me. But I do know one thing: in the words of Secondhand Serenade, I was born to tell her I love her.

---------------
Today, Mai called me in tears. Another day for her at work, I heard. And she was crying. Not just whining. Crying.

My heart broke. Heaven help me. I didn't know what to tell her. And I was almost in tears too. I could never stand the thought of one of my friends in so much pain. And believe it or not, while she cried, I only wished that it was me in pain and that, somehow, I could find a way to save her from it.

But I can't always save my friends from their pain. Sometimes they must endure it for themselves, that they may become better children, better parents, better friends, better partners... *sigh*

She wouldn't stop crying. And all I could do was promise her that everything was going to be alright. I don't know that but I hope it's true.

---------------
She's leaving for the dorms on July 3rd. I want to do something special for her before she goes. But then... I'm sure Mr. Seventeen-Year-Old (It dawned on me just now how he might have turned eighteen already. Hmm. Well. He's still very much a kid to me. *proud voice* I happen to be turning twenty two months from today.) already has something planned for her. He's the rain on my parade. :(

I can't believe she's going off to college so soon. Wag muna. I need to learn how to get there first! Wag muna. I need to tell you how much I love you first. Please, wag muna. Wag muna... :(

I was telling my friend this and she laughed at me. How can you get so attached to someone who never belonged to you? she kept asking. Never? That's a bit harsh. But she's right. She never belonged to me. I was with her, yes. But her heart was never mine...

Labels: love, stories

kitten posted @ 12:17 PM |



Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman).

~from Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being

---------------
The next time she comes into the store, I swear to God, I'm asking for her name and number.

Labels: nonsense

kitten posted @ 9:58 PM |



Today was a bad, bad day at work. Every single day I find that I despise that place more and more. My boss is a fucking lazy ass of a woman and she terribly needs to put her priorities in order.

I'm not in the mood to go all dickens (New word which, apparently, means short story long) so here's what I'll tell you: She didn't let Mai do a cash-count of her money even though Jen's money came up short; she took out her frustration/anger/menopause-ikaw-ba-yan on poor, sweet Mai.

Mai ang I just shook our heads and forced ourselves to laugh. I gave her a quick hug and told her "We'll laugh about this later," and I know we will. It won't be long until we're lounging on some beach, sippin' pina coladas, talking about how great life finally is after it has been so cruel, too cruel to the both of us. She'll be rich from all her nursing bleh and I'll be... content from teaching. And we'll be happy. Happy.

I can't wait to put this all behind me.

---------------
Do you know that there's such a thing as a Doctor of Theology? I didn't. Apparently it's the equivalent of a Ph.D. in theology. Thanks for the info, mom.

My mom wants me to get a Th.D. Nakakaiyak. Nakakaiyak talaga. It's one of two things: she has no idea I'm not interested in theology or anything and everything that has anything and everything to do with God, religion and faith, or she just doesn't care that my heart's somewhere else. Life is more unbearable than it has to be because of my family.

I don't want to die. I just want to fake my own death.

Labels: me

kitten posted @ 8:13 PM |



I cried after reading Venus in Furs. Embarrassing! But not as embarrassing as the way people look at me two seconds after they read the title and realize who the author is. Because of this, I have, half in prudence and half in shame, covered the book with a page I've torn from a magazine. Now I am able to enjoy my book in peace.

Ha! You fools. Hasn't anybody every told you not to judge a book by its cover? Sure, there's an Asian woman with her left breast exposed while her eyes are half-closed in ecstasy. But, hard as it is for you little fledglings to understand, not everything in this world is about sex.

In my defense I say that it is an incredible story of love. And it is. From it I've learned that love is pain and that pain is, in a twisted way, its very own pleasure (But then again, hasn't Candy always taught me this?). But along with that I have learned that pain has its limits, and that those limits exist for love as well. And that, my dear ones, is the salvation. Limits.

So we love, we suffer, but only until we've had enough, only until we've reached our limit.


The verdict: Work of genius. Worth every penny.

---------------
On to Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

Labels: reviews

kitten posted @ 9:44 PM |



Love knows no virtue, no merit; it loves and forgives and tolerates everything because it must. We are not guided by reason, nor do the assests or blemishes that we discover tempts us to devotion or intimidate us. It is a sweet, mournful, mysterious power that drives us, and we stop think, feeling, wishing, we let ourselves drift along and never ask where we are drifting.

---------------
These past few days I have been dying to talk to her again. I haven't seen and talked to her in a while and I've been arguing with myself, trying to decide whether I should call her or not. I, believe it or not, decided that I was better off not calling her. I would only miss her more, want her more, need her more, if that's at all possible. But life has a funny way of ruining our plans, of making us feel like the insignificant dots that we are. She messaged me.

She asked me whether I was working. I kept thinking that it was another one of her traps. She would lead me on again. So I ignored the message. Besides, it was one in the morning. I could just tell her that I was already asleep.

But my heart, as always, got the best of me. I guess you could say there't still a part of me that hopes that I could bring everything back or at least make something beautiful of what's left. So I replied, telling her that I would be working the late shift from 12.30PM-9PM, and asking her why she wanted to know.

It was four in the morning. I didn't expect her to reply. But that didn't stop me from staring at my phone, waiting for it to vibrate.

I guess waiting for my phone to vibrate isn't very exciting since I realized I fell asleep when I woke up. I got a message from her. She said that she will come and see me.

My heart leapt! I couldn't believe it. She was going to pay me a visit. I was happy. My heart sang.

I came to work, glad that I replied to her message. My heart was more than ready to greet her. She has no idea how long I have wanted to see her again.

The clock ticked three. I was excited.

The clock ticked four. I was ready.

The clock ticked five. I was getting impatient.

The clock ticked six, then seven, then eight... My heart sank. She didn't come.

It was a risk I took. I gambled my feelings, hoping, praying, needing to win the prize. But the house always wins and I... Well, I end up losing more than what I'm willing to give.

Perhaps I've become accustomed to her games, because I find I'm not hurting. I'm sure the next time she comes up with something like this, I'd be more than willing to take up her offer, whatever that offer may be. I say I'm tired of her games, but then I always play them, hoping to win...

Her.

Labels: love

kitten posted @ 11:24 PM |



"What am I going to do with you?

"Whatever you like," I answered, resigned, "whatever gives you pleasure."

"How inconsistent!" she cried. "First you want me as your wife and now you give yourself to me as a toy."

"Wanda-I love you."

"Then we're back where we started. You love me and want me as your wife. But I don't care to remarry, because I doubt that my and your feelings will be permanent."

"What if I take the chance?" I rejoined.

"Then it all depends on whether I want to take the chance with you," she murmured. "I can well imagine belonging to one man for life, but it would have to be a total man, a man who commands my respect, who subjugates me with the power of who and what he is-do you understand? And every man-I know this-turns weak, pliant, ridiculous as soon as he's in love. He puts himself in the woman's hands, kneels before her-whereas I can love only the man before whom I would kneel. But I've grown so fond of you that I want to try it with you."

...

We spent an afternoon on the meadow, at the feet of the Venus statue. I was picking flowers and tossing them into Wanda's lap, and she was binding them into wreaths for adorning our Goddess.

Suddenly Wanda gave me such a peculiar, bewildering look that my passion blazed over my head like flames. Losing control of myself, I threw my arms around her and clung to her lips and she-she pressed me against her heaving bosom.

"Are you angry," I then asked her.

"I never get angry at anything that is natural," she replied. "I'm just worried that you're suffering."

"Oh, I'm suffering terribly."

"Poor friend." She brushed the tangled hair from my forehead. "Not because of me, I hope."

"No--" I answered. "And yet my love for you has turned into a kind of madness. I'm tormented day and night by the thought that I can lose you, perhaps lose you."

"But you don't even possess me as yet," said Wanda, with those same moist quivering, consuming eyes that had already once swept me away. Then she stood up, and her small, translucent hands placed a wreath of blue anemones on the white curly hair of Venus. Half reluctantly I put my arms around Wanda's waist.

"I can't live without you anymore, you beautiful woman," I said. "Believe me, just this once, believe me. It's no claptrap, no fantasy. I feel deep in my innermost core that my life is tied to yours. If you leave me, I'll perish, I'll wither away."

"That won't be necessary, for I love you." She took hold of my chin. "Silly!"

"But you're willing to be mine only under certain conditions, while I belong to you unconditionally--"

"That's not wise, Severin," she replied, almost startled. "Don't you know me yet, don't you even want to know me? I am good if I am treated earnestly and reasonably. But if one submits to me too deeply, then I become arrogant--"

"Then be that! Be arrogant, be despotic," I cried in utter exaltation, "only be mine, be mine forever." I lay at her feet, with my arms around her knees.

"This won't end well, my friend," she said earnestly, without stirring.

"Oh, but it should never end!" I cried ecitedly, intensely. "Only death should separate us. If you can't be mine, all mine and forever, then I want to be your slave, serve you, tolerate anything from you-only just don't push me away."

"Pull yourself together," she said, leaning over and kissing my forehead. "I'm very fond of you, but that's not the way to conquer me, to hold on to me."

"I'm willing to do anything, anything you like-I just don't want to lose you," I cried. "Just not that-I can't stand the thought of it!"

"Stand up."

I obeyed.

"You are truly a strange person," Wanda went on. "So you want to possess me at any price?"

"Yes, at any price."

"But what good would it do you to possess me--?" she mused--there was something lurking, something sinister in her eyes-- "if I stopped loving you, if I belonged to someone else?"

Cold shivers ran down my spine. I looked at her: she stood before me, so solid and self-assured, and her eyes had a cold glint.

"You see," she said. "You are terrified at the very thought." Suddenly her face beamed with a charming smile.

"Yes, I'm horrified when I vividly imagine that a woman whom I love, who has requited my love, could give herself to another man without showing me the slightest compassion. But do I have a choice? If I love that woman, love her madly, should I proudly turn my back on her and let my boastful strength destroy me? Should I blow my brains out? I have to female ideals. If I can't find my noble, sunny ideal, a kind and faithful woman to share my life, then I won't put up with anything halfway, anything lukewarm! I would rather submit to a woman with no virtue, no fidelity, no compassion. Such a woman in her selfish grandeur is also an ideal. If I can't enjoy the full and total happiness of love, then I want to drain its torments, its tortures to the dregs; then I want the woman I love to mistreat me, betray me, and the more cruelly the better. That too is a pleasure."

"Are you insane?" cried Wanda.

"I love you with all my soul," I continued, "with all my sense, and so deeply that your nearness, your atmosphere are indespensable to me if I am to go on living. So choose between my ideals, Madam. Make of me what you will, your husband or your slave."

Labels: love

kitten posted @ 10:07 AM |



Wah. And that's the actual sound I'm making right now. One of my wisdom teeth picked today to come out. Wonderful, just wonderful.

When I woke up today, everything was just like it was last night. The sheets on the bed were all rumpled, sure, and my stomach was fuller than I remember (Love late night pizzas with my brother. He's the best talaga.), yes, but more than anything, I had just the right amount of teeth in my mouth. It wasn't until midday that I noticed I couldn't quite close my mouth. It felt like I had cotton somewhere at the back of my mouth.

So I ask Marlon to check and see what the hell was up with my mouth. I opened wide and he spent a considerable amount of time looking around (Which I, quite frankly, didn't mind since I happen to have no cavities or fillings in any of my teeth. I love my teeth, yey.). He finally said, I don't know, but there's a part that's red all over. The moment he said red all over, I was just stapled to where I was. Red all over?! What does that mean?!

I asked Jen (Or was it Mai?) to check it out (Hey, it's just like asking for another doctor's opinion.) and all that she told me was that I had this singaw where it hurt. That left me even more confused than Marlon's red all over, really. So I gave up.

Then again, not really. I went about my usual business the store, occasionally screaming It's hurts! It's hurts you know!, getting a laugh here and there from my workmates. There were, if I must confess, some customers who got an undeserved dose of bad service. Bottomline: I was grumpy throughout the day. You try growing these stupid teeth and we'll see how happy you turn out.

Now, I sound like I'm sucking on this enormous candy. It's hurts! It's hurts you know!

---------------
I *heart* Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs.

---------------
Today, I (re)discovered that I work for idiots.

(1) Emilee has been trying to locate the store's phone manual for about a week now. However, the phone we're using was the phone of the previous company that leased the location so it was actually pointless to even try to look for it. Emilee gave up on looking for it. She's so stupid she didn't even try to google it. Well, I'm not stupid. I googled it. The first result that came up was a .pdf of the user's manual. We now have a copy of the manual, printed from our office computer.

(2) Joel (our new Operations and Marketing Manager) has been whining about our phone. You know how when you call tech support there's a voicemail system that picks up and says If you're calling about billing, press one. If you're calling about tech support, press two. blah blah blah? Well, he wants that for our store's phone. He (and Emilee) called Verizon and were told that that feature was available with our phone.

The two left it up to me to figure out this whole thing. It took me five minutes with the handset to know that, contrary to the Verizon guy, our phone does not have the feature. So I called Verizon and they told me the very same thing - our handset already provided that feature. I told the guy I was speaking with that I turned our phone upside down and spent forever browsing through the phone's manual (Yeah, right.) and can't seem to find that feature. I asked him, in my sweetest, politest, flirtiest voice to please maybe connect me to somebody who could help me figure this out. He tranferred me to a very nice lady who told me that what I wanted was a multiple mailbox system (Aha! See, now it has a name!) and that, for a mere $10 a month and a one-time fee of $15 for its set-up, could be made available for our small business account. She was actually starting to type stuff up when I told her, and I guess she jumped up a little bit, that I have to call my boss first, tell him about what we spoke about and make sure that it's what we want and need.

I called Joel and told him about it and all he said was Beautiful.

BEAUTIFUL? That's understatement of the year! You mean I should give this girl a raise, right?!, I wanted to scream at him. But there'll be time enough for that later... When he's all settled in the glory he will take from my job well done.

I pity those two. I got this ball rolling by myself; the two of them worked together and accomplished nothing. Stupid ass bosses. Hoy, posisyon lang ang nilamang niyo sa'kin. Pero sa galing, higit ako sa inyo. Higit na higit ako sa inyo.

God. Can people please not piss me off when I'm teething?! I just don't have as much tolerance for incompetence.

Labels: feelings

kitten posted @ 9:32 PM |



Today, a customer came into the store and bought a cake. He had me write something on it. I was waiting for him to finish writing down the message on a piece of paper and I was getting a little pissed that it was taking him forever to decide what to write down on this stupid birthday cake. (I mean, really. Why can't he just write Happy birthday like everybody else?!)

I was trying to look at what he's written so far and I couldn't make the words out because he had this terrible handwriting and the words weren't in English. (The downside to being in America is that at least two people in the room you're in speak a language you don't.) He noticed what I was doing so he looked up at me and said Sorry. Keep it simple, right?. I smiled and said It's not that. I was just trying to read what you were writing. Don't worry, I couldn't understand what you wrote. It's in Spanish.

What? This? *shows me the slip of paper* Que sueños grande. It means "dream big". Then he goes on to write beneath it Happy birthday.

I've been with Red Ribbon for a while and that message is probably the best one anybody has ever asked to put on their cake. I grabbed the pastry bag and started to write the message down on the cake but my hands were shaking. I felt unworthy. *sigh* I can't explain it. But I do know that the message hit me hard.

Sometimes I forget to dream big. I think of myself as a realist. Dreams are too fleeting, too... impossible to hold on to for so long that I rarely have them, if I have them at all. The last time I had a dream for myself... well, was three years ago. I was planning a future, no, a lifetime with somebody. *sigh* But let's not talk about that.

I resolve to dream big.

Sometimes dreams are all we have.

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 10:14 PM |



Today, I received this comment on my Friendster profile telling me that my good friend, Elmo, is now a father. I was just stunned. When did Elmo get married? Or when did they get pregnant? And when has pretty boy Elmo started getting some action? Wasn't he one of those boys who respected women and their dignity, and believed other eighteenth century crap?

*sigh*

Obviously, I have forgotten how quickly time is passing me by. I guess I thought that while I figure out all my crap over here, time elsewhere stands still. Yet, so many things have changed. I have changed. You have changed. Everything and everyone has changed. My only fear is that one day I won't recognize it all because I was oblivious to its becoming.

Does that make sense? No? Boo.

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MERON AKONG GTEC!!! Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. :)

I now have a supply of six lovely Gtec C3 pens. *melts* You want to know what I wrote with it first?

Pablo Neruda's Sonnet 17.

I'm a romantic, so sue me. <333

PS For future references *coughs* Birthday ko, birthday ko *coughs* heart ko talaga ang Gtec C3. And yung neon na Cattleya fillers. Okie? Alriiiiiight.

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Ayos talaga kami ni Mai pagdating sa adventures. So ganito. Nandun kami sa PhilAm na grocery, bibili ng meat na ipansasahog niya sa adobong kangkong or sitaw, basta ganun. Nakatayo kami dun sa eskaparate... (Oh, hindi alam yung word na yun!)

Mai: Ano ba tawag dun sa liempo?
Kitten: Edi liempo. Duh.
Mai: Hindi. Sa English.
Kitten: *reads signs in the display* Pork strips. Try mo.
Mai: [to the guy behind the counter] Can I get half a pound of the pork strips?
*Guy behind the counter gets half a pound and hands it to Mai*
Mai: Ang galing mo ah. Pa'no mo nalaman.
Kitten: Kasi naman, Mai, ayun oh. *points at the signs*
Mai: Oh shoot. Oo nga noh. *reads the sign Pork Squares* Uy, ayos. Pork squares.
Kitten: Oo nga naman. Kung may strips, meron ding square. Ikaw naman eh.
Mai: E anung tawag kapag bilog?
Kitten: Edi ground.

Wahaha. Di mo nagets? Basahin mo ulet. Wala paren? Malas lang. Basta kami ni Mai, natawa kami. Beh.

Labels: nonsense

kitten posted @ 7:56 PM |



Napagod ako kakaayos ng paperwork ng mga tao for insurance. Leche. But then... I have new boyshorts. :) Beh.

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I can't believe how differently I look at him now. It was one little thing he changed, but it made all the difference... And I'm not happy about it.

Labels: nonsense

kitten posted @ 11:20 PM |