I had a good long talk with Emilee today. On more than one occasion she has been like a big sister to me. I love that I have her on my side. It's nice to know that at least one person is.

One good point she brought up today: Coast guards don't stay away for too long. Point taken. But like I've always said, I'm not sure if it's a worthy emotional investment.

On the lighter side of the news, I came to see Fel Veraque about music classes today. I've decided to finish what I've started. And what's good is that she hinted that she might be looking for a theory teacher. *squeals* Me! Me! Pick me!

Then there's Ryan telling me that tomorrow "Magkaka-alaman na." WTF?! He's off tomorrow, but he says he's coming to the store. Ah, honestly, I'd rather that he didn't come. I've never liked surprises. Kaya nga lahat ng bagay sa buhay ko planado eh.

Big personal realization today: You must go after what you want. My parents won't push me to run after the things that are good for me. I'm old enough to know what I want and to know how to get them. Nuff said.

Tomorrow, month end inventory. It's my first time. God, please don't let it be painful. Lol

Oh, and the house is now filled with praise music. I *heart* Hillsong. Solo praisefest na itu. :)

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 11:36 PM |



C****e. C***a. C***y. C****o.

Tell me why I seem to have a thing for people whose names start with the letter C.

---------------
I get lonely when he's not around. He hasn't even left for the Coast Guard (Which, from now on, will be known as "The Bad Words") and I'm already acting like this.

:(

NTS: Must get a camera for maximum camwhore-age with him before he leaves.
ANTS: Delete Kyla's Til They Take My Heart Away from mp3 player.

---------------
I have Mae playing in the background. I feel like crying.

Sun and Moon na ito. *sigh* You've already captured me.

Click me. (You know you want to.)

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 11:37 PM |



Do you know those chuk-chak things that you wear on your hair? Those sort of *snap, snap* clam things? They're handy. And call me old-school (And I am.) but I think they're pretty. :)

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 8:02 PM |



Masaya ako.

Sana magtagal.

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 12:31 AM |



I walked home in a faster pace than usual, my tear-stained cheeks stiff from the wind. My arms and legs were still cold; I didn't stay indoors as long as I thought I would have. I was half-disappointed and half-amused, mostly at myself. I wasn't angry. Just hungry, cold and possibly lonely.

I secretly wished for my phone to start vibrating. I prayed that he would storm out of the store, run after me in the winter freeze, kiss me and apologize. Ten minutes into our fiasco and still nothing. All that was left for me to do was go inside the house and escape from the unbelievable cold.
kitten posted @ 3:34 PM |



Smart is sexy.

It is also very, very intimidating.

Nothing is perfect.

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 8:44 PM |



Mark (M): Pare, ang dami niyan ah. [Sabay turo sa nagngangalit na tigyawat ni Frank.]
Frank (F): Oo nga eh. [Sabay himas sa mukha niya.]
M: Alam mo kasi nasa kinakain mo yan. Mashadong maraming trans fat ang kinakain mo.
F: Ha? Hindi ano.
M: Oo. Sabihin mo sa'kin ang mga kinakain mo at sasabihin ko sa'yo kung alin dun...

---------------
Okay. I don't know if this will make sense, but for some reason, ako yung napahiya para kay Frank. I don't know. It just seems so wrong to say something like that. Lalo na kasi di naman close si Mark kay Frank. I'm chummy with Frank but you don't hear me saying anything about his face. I would never dare. Sabi nga ng tito kong dakila, Why state the obvious?

Nakakahiya talaga. At nakakainis kasi alam ko na napahiya si Frank. Insecure na nga yung tao, makakarinig pa siya ng ganun. :( I told Mai about it. If anyone can make him feel better, it's Mai.

That Mark guy is really starting to get on my nerves. I swear.

PS
Bukas malamang basag ako sa mga pesteng lalaki. Paano ba naman nag-offer siya (Mark) na ihatid ako sa bahay kanina *shivers*. Nakaharap pa naman ang dakila kong tito. Patay. Bukas basag ako. Huhu. Wag naman po.

---------------
It couldn't have been you who was trying to call me, but I can't help but wish that it was. I miss you.

Labels: stories, thoughts

kitten posted @ 3:50 PM |



Well, don't you see?
Don't you see that the charade is over?
And all the best deceptions and the clever cover story awards
Go to you.

So kiss me hard
'Cause this will be the last time that I let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips
Will be of service to keeping you away.

---------------
Lessons learned today:
1. Kapag nahuhulog ang pants mo, di nun ibig sabihin payat ka na. Ibig lang nun sabihin, kelangan mo ng belt.
2. Masarap manipa ng taong sooobrang kinaiinisan mo. Nakakatanggal ng stress.
3. Kapag di imbitado, wag pumunta.
4. Masarap man magluto ang ibang tao, mas masarap parin pag ikaw ang nagluto.

--------------
Okay. Umiral nanaman ang katangahan ni Kristina Dianne. Ganto:

Si Mai ginawan ako ng lumpiang blah-blah. Di pa niya niluto kasi daw papangit kaya ako na daw magluto sa bahay kaya nilagay niya muna sa freezer namin sa store.

Nung pauwi na kami nilagay niya sa maliit na supot na napulot niya kungsanman. So nilusot ko yung kamay ko dun sa hawakan para sasabit na lang siya sa wrist ko tapos maibubulsa ko yung kamay ko (Super lamig sa labas. Kelangan ibulsa ang kamay.). So lumayas na ako ng tindahan. Kaso, di pa man ako nakakalayo ay biglang umentra ang magaling na si *toot*.

Okay. So sige na. Granted. Dapat kasi di ko na pinansin kasi malayo siya. Across the street pa bez. Pero palalampasin ko ba naman ang pagkakataon na mapansin niya ako? Siyempre hindi. So nung tinawag niya ako, lumingon ako.

So, isipin mo ah. Madilim na nito pero kitang-kita ko na nakangiti siya sa'kin. At kumakaway, bez. Kumakaway. So ako naman si kaway-back. And then

DUG.

Araaay.

Yung lumpia humampas sa'kin. Ang lumpia! Tumama sa gilid ng ulo ko.

At si *toot* andun parin sa kabila. Tumatawa. Pinagtatawanan ako. AKO!

Somebody kill me.

Nanghina ako, siyet. P*tanginang lumpia yan. Bwiseeet. Nakakahiya. Siyeeet.

Wala na lang akong nagawa eh. Tumalikod na lang ako eh...

Pero ah.

Matigas yung lumpia.

---------------
The one person who can make all this hurting go away is the person who started it.

Ah, life's irony.

So at the risk of getting hurt for the Nth time:

Hun, just say the words and you know I'll come running back to your arms.

Labels: love, nonsense, stories

kitten posted @ 3:50 PM |



Snow fell today. Can't help but think...

I too fell once. And I fell hard. It was glorious at first. It was absolute bliss. But then reality seeped through...

It's still too warm to keep the snow. In hours, all of the snow that fell just moments ago will melt into nothingness. I can only wish that as the snow leaves this wretched world, so will this pain I'm feeling.

Labels: feelings

kitten posted @ 3:50 PM |



If you were brave enough to give someone a second chance, then you should also be brave enough to face the consequences should that second chance turn out to be undeserved.

So why am I crying? And why do I feel like I knew it was coming?

---------------
Dashboard Confessional's For You to Notice
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...
But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice [love <3] me [like you did]

Labels: love, thoughts

kitten posted @ 3:50 PM |



Romantic Valentine's ideas, anyone? :)

---------------

The worst part about guilt is that you won't know it's coming until it already has.
kitten posted @ 7:01 PM |



She calls me her bitch...





And I like it.

---------------
Why must my heart yearn for the person that causes it pain?

---------------
Norah Jones' Come Away with Me plays in the background.

How apt.

Labels: love

kitten posted @ 12:59 AM |



Sana may mapasahan akong school.

School #1
School #2
School #3



*This entry has been edited.

Labels: feelings

kitten posted @ 7:09 PM |



When I sat down at the computer today, I did something I've always wanted to do: I looked up Gregorian Chant. I don't know, but for some reason, I have always loved it. Loved it. If-I-owned-an-iPod-I-would-put-it-there kind of love.

Now I am the proud owner of five beautiful tracks, and I have never been more relaxed. :)

Gregorian Chant rocks. Well, not the bang-your-head kind of rocks. *wrinkles nose* You know what I mean.

Labels: stories

kitten posted @ 9:31 PM |



I'm writing this with almost no idea where to begin. So many things have happened this year. A lot of different people, events and places have changed the way I view myself and the world. Too many little things to mention. None big enough to focus on.

I must say I am sorry it is gone. I faced 2006 with fear. I knew the fate that waited for me. What I didn't know was how it was going to affect me. And this unknown left me paralyzed. I didn't take enough chances this year. I didn't break enough hearts. I didn't fail enough times. I didn't cry enough times. Now I sit here and think about how another precious year has passed me by.

But it has been a good year. I was hurt but I recovered. I failed but I picked myself up. I was weak, I still am, but my friends have made me strong. I lost but I gained in the end.

It was a year like no other. I've had to grow up. I've had to take responsibility. I've had to define, even learn, who I am. The time has passed may not have all been used well, but they were beautiful. I would never do them over.

I guess this tribute is to leave 2006 behind. Closure, if you will. So that I may live for this day, and not the one that has already left me.

Here's to living for the moment.

Labels: thoughts

kitten posted @ 11:13 PM |