"I know how it feels to want to smile, to try to fit in but you can't. And you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the monster inside..."
~Susanna from Girl Interrupted


Rocklets are good. They are hell good. I've been feeding on them for more than a week now. And they have successfully stopped the tears from falling. Next to slitting your wrists and smoking, they're the next best thing.

If you ask me what it is that's making me sad, I won't be able to tell you. I don't have a reason. Or maybe, I'm just trying to forget the reason because it hurts like hell and I don't want to talk about it. Talking about it only makes it real and I don't want it to be real. I want this, I want everything, to be just a miserable dream I'll wake up from soon...


I saw one of my good friends yesterday. It was good to see a familiar face, a comforting face. It was even better to hear her telling me that I should take care of myself. I've been so used to having someone taking care of me that I've forgotten how to do it.


The words have stopped to flow, you know. I have a bunch of thoughts, but that's all they are. They don't organize themselves into words and lines and paragraphs the way they used to. Writing, after all, is an art.

Art is for the heart... And my heart's broken.


"Lovers shall fade, but love shall not. And death shall have no dominion..."
kitten posted @ 8:46 PM |



I haven't been blogging. Sorry. Anyway, this'll be a quickie since I'm supposed to be rushing a bunch of things and stuff.


Realization of a lifetime: I am scared to lose... Just like the Lisa Loeb song. I should be ashamed of myself.


I lit two cigarettes this week. A first after weeks of abstinence. Lately, it feels as if my life is slowing down and I'm afraid to find it not moving at all...


I honestly don't know what I'm doing and what could possibly be going on in my head for loving someone who will not *mind the choice of words* love me back. I must be crazy.


Crazy?

Crazy is us amplified.
~Susanna from Girl Interrupted


I might just be crazy for loving someone this way.
kitten posted @ 10:25 PM |



Wah. I'm grounded. Darn. Guess I won't be updating for a while. :(

[If you're wondering why I'm grounded, don't even bother asking. I really don't want to talk about it. I did once, and it ruined someone's day. :( ]

Don't worry, though. Nothin' much has been happening anyway. :)

Hmm, anu kayang ym id niya? Dun ko lang sha pwede makausap, tas hindi ko pa alam kung anu ung id niya. Great. Tss.

PS If there's something you wanna say, you can leave your message sa tagboard. :)

PPS I suggest that you don't try to call me at home. :)

PPPS I also suggest that you text me sa globe, hindi sa sun. :)
kitten posted @ 4:28 AM |