"It's a good thing you failed to be a mother because you suck at it." These were the harsh words House threw at Dr. Cuddy's face in the last episode I saw. And very timely for me too as I just realized I am a devastating failure.

I don't know about you but I've been told more than a million times that I can't win them all. I've never been more certain in my life that the phrase "You can't win them all." really is for losers. Think about it, when you've lost everything, there really is nothing left but stupid, unhelpful words. Right now, all that I've got to hold on to is the idea that I can't win them all.

I failed because I suck. I am a loser. Call me proud, call me arrogant, call me whatever you want, but I've always thought that I would forever and always succeed. Failure was never an option for me. Recent events have proven me wrong. I can fail. I will fail. And maybe I will fail at everything. That's what's waiting for me out there, I think - more and more and still more failure.

I've crossed over to the other side. I've said farewell to startling yet amazing grades. I've kissed my future in perfectly wonderful universities goodbye. In our lives, there always comes this single moment when we have to settle. This is that moment.

Come to think of it, numbers don't matter. So what if I didn't get the highest that there was to get? My life isn't measured by how well I know my math. Or how wonderfully I construct my sentences. It's about what I make of myself. Right?

Oh god. I even sound like a loser. Oh right. That's because I am a loser. Yup. *checks self* Loser.

*cries*

Labels: me, thoughts

kitten posted @ 3:17 PM