I am bored to death. Well, not literally, of course. (Kitten, don't be stupid. They know that.=P)

I am annoyed at my family. I love them, never think otherwise. I just wish that sometimes they'd think about what I want. They're always busy making decisions for me that when I speak up to say what I want they don't listen anymore. It's like I have lost my voice in this family. I hate that. I'm outspoken. I am vocal. But right now, I'm mute. And, God, I wish I were deaf too, so that I wouldn't have to hear them talk about me as if I weren't there. And while I'm making wishes I'm sure won't come true in the near future, I wish I were blind so that I wouldn't have to see their faces of love, coz it breaks my heart to see them wanting the best for me and my future, and yet, forgetting about me.

I was thinking about running away. You know, go to a friend's house for a couple of days or something. But I wouldn't be doing it coz I hate them or anything. I'd be doing it to take a break from everything. If I don't I'll lose my mind, if I haven't already lost it.=P I then realised that all my friends are out of town and no one will be able to roof me. Too bad. I nearly packed my bags.=P

I need a job. I need a job so that I could get money. I need to get money so that I could get a place where I could live/stay for a couple of weeks. I need a place to stay for a couple of weeks (other than my home) so that maybe my family will get a waker-upper and think about how they've been torturing me for the past two weeks. Heck, at the rate they're doing it I doubt I'll live to be twenty. =P

I was thinking about slitting my wrists. I figured that since it's a cry for help kinda thing, my family would figure out they're doing something wrong--very wrong. But I haven't done that in ages and I'm not about to give up nearly four years of no slits for one lousy problem. (Did I just say lousy? Coz if I think it's lousy, why am I spending all this time writing about it?) And I'm outta practice.=P I don't wanna die, I just want to cry for help, minus the crying.=P

Argh. I've been saying it for days, and I'll say it again. I hate being me.
kitten posted @ 4:27 AM