Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Your Vice
If you're still cutting after you've cut through the flesh and the pain, what are you cutting through?I never understood why my friends made such a big deal of my cutting. Now, I do. And I feel more helpless than I have ever felt.
I'll tell you to stop. I'll tell you that this is not the way to deal with things. But I know that some things just have to be done. When you've made up your mind to do it, then you will. That's how I've always been, anyway.
But when the pain has left you, forget everything you've learned about cutting and never pick up a razor again. It's a vicious cycle. I'm in it and I don't want you to be in there too.
I love you. Whatever it is, it too shall pass.---------------Phil: Did you message me last night?
Kitten: I don't believe I did.
Phil: I know you didn't. You're not putting much effort at keeping in touch.
--
Well, if I wasn't putting much effort in to keeping in touch, it was with good reason. I can't believe it still hasn't sunk in. He still doesn't get it.
He still does it even if he knows he's going to get into a fight with her, my friend said. And he does. It's either he's really, really daft and doesn't get it, or it just doesn't matter to him whether he gets into a fight with her or not.
I think it's sweet. My idea of romance needs tweaking.
Labels: feelings
kitten posted @ 7:04 AM
Randoms things about me
I'm Kitten :)
I get a year older every 17th of August. I am a Leo, and I carry all traits associated with that zodiac.
Right now, I'm twenty years old and I'm loving it. They say we're only as young as we feel. I feel like I'm five.
I would never leave the house without my Zen and my E2. The latter connects me to the world; the former takes me away from it.
If I were to choose a word to describe my life, that word would be
crazy.
I am in love with the stars. I am in love with the rain.
I am a Rutgers University student, and I want to graduate with an English degree. An English-Psych double major would be nice. An English-TCert would be even better.
I want to be a teacher. I want to be writer. I want to be both.
I thrive on indie and emo. Mae, The Spill Canvas, Copeland and Daphne Loves Derby - these are the guys that I listen to. I listen to other bands here and there, but mostly those are the bands I follow. That being said, I'm a mainstream moron.
There's no feeling more lovely than being carried away. People don't usually think of me as somebody spontaneous, but I like being swept away as much as the next girl.
I fall in love easily, but it is really hard for me to fall out. Really hard.
I am very fragile.
I am tolerant of almost everything except one thing: intolerance.
I am an extensive reader. I thirst only for meaning, nothing else.
I love my friends <3
I am extremely spiritual but not religious.
Things I want to do in my life time
Get a job.
- Save up enough money to go back home -
wherever that is if I ever had one before I'm 40.
- Write a book.
- Sing for a Disney movie.
- Buy a house on top of a hill.
- Go bunjee jumping.
Travel halfway around the world.
- See Italy.
Find the one person who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.
Draw and paint.
Learn how to play Sudoku.
- Volunteer for American/Philippine Red Cross or UNHCR.
Quit smoking.
Kitten recommends:
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince
- Trina Paulus' Hope for the Flowers
- Paulo Coehlo's Eleven Minutes
- Leo Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye
- Neil Gaiman's American Gods
- Anne Rice's Beauty's Release
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- Douglas F. Hofstadter's Godel Escher Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid
- Leonard Mlodinow's Feynman's Rainbow: A Search for Beauty in Physics and in Life
Credits
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