I think it was Sunday when I told my friend that I felt that something good was going to happen this week. I can't explain why I had that feeling. All that I know is that it was there, and I recognized it.

School has taken over my life. I have very little time to actually sit down and write stuff, even with my handheld. But two calculus tests have gone well. Essay with English Comp went well too. So far, so good, people.

Today while I was on my way to school, I was stuck on the bridge (Terrible, terrible traffic.) and I couldn't help but look at the sky. It was glorious. The lower part of the sky was the lemon yellow and the rest was blue. This happened around, what, 9.30? It was beautiful. It was one of those sights that made you feel light and almost hopeful. I loved that.

Yesterday, Mai and I went to Snyder High to finalize all tutoring plans with Mrs. Castellones. We didn't actually intend on staying, but some of the students heard that we were coming so they showed up at the Tigers' Den and we had a little impromptu tutoring session. All the tutees are nice. I think I'm going to love doing this.

Some of the kids that we'll be tutoring have learning disabilities. I don't take that against them, of course. It's just that they have the hardest time understanding even the easiest of questions like What subjects are you taking this year? This hits home. As you know, one of my brother has Down syndrome.

There was this one kid (I can't remember his name.) who didn't stay longer than five minutes. I honestly didn't get to spend as much time with him as I wanted. But when he left, he gave me a hug. I thought that was really sweet. As Mrs. Castellones has put it, You don't realize how much these kids need you. I think I'm going to enjoy tutoring. :)

*sigh* My final note is this: volunteering to do this shouldn't be thought of as something amazing. I want it to be something people do. I want people to want to help each other and to just care about each other. But the sad fact is that it just doesn't work that way.

In Colloquium class, Professor Veysey asked us what made people behave and misbehave. What is it that make people act the way they do? My answer is this: People act the way they do because of the consequences of those actions. One of the greatest laws of life is causalty - actions and reaction. We choose how to act according to which outcome we would rather deal with.

Ergo:

People don't volunteer to do this because they have nothing to lose if they don't. They don't volunteer either because they don't have anything to gain if they do. So all that this is, really, is a bad, bad show on apathy.

Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is the opposite of love.

Labels: me, stories, thoughts

kitten posted @ 11:51 PM