What a day. The Math departmental exams are finally, finally over and all I can say is...

That was some tough shit.

I'm still praying for the best, though. My average isn't very good right now. I need a pretty high grade to get exempted from the finals. I'm keeping all of my body parts crossed.

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Today, I made a very important realisation about the relationship I have with my parents: It is still as cold as it was after they grounded me. I mean, sure, I have gained back some of my liberties (like blogging) but the bond I used to have with them is... well... gone. Hopefully, it's only temporary.

I came to school early today, thinking that the Math exams were to be taken at 10am. I got there and saw some of my classmates huddled on the floor. The first thing they said? 4pm pa ang exam. Damn. I was given Php100 today (and that's just because I no longer have tickets for the trains). Coming to school finished nearly half of that. Coming home would finish the other half. I decided to text my dad and tell him that the exams were rescheduled but I couldn't come home.

It wasn't long until he called me and told me to come home. I said I couldn't because I wouldn't be able to come back to school and I would miss the exams. Blah blah blah. I told him that I'd rather stay in school with my friends and get the chance to study Stat. It took him 0.5 seconds to say Punyeta. over and over and over again and I could swear I was at the verge of tears. He said I'd just be hanging out with my friends, going places and doing things (by doing things he doesn't mean good things). Blah blah blah. You get the story.

I miss being cool with my parents. I guess you would agree with me when I say that our relationship is at its worst. If only there was something I could do to bring back what we had... If only.

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Unsent letter No.2
Dear Sunshine,

I hung out with Rhoda a while ago and we talked about that thing. She told me that she'd miss me. Aw. I smiled and said, Well, yeah. No one will quarrel with Rizza anymore. And then she said, No one will quarrel with Sunshine anymore. No one will call her a big logical fallacy, *trails off* I fell silent because I had to think about what that implied. It felt as if all I ever did with you was fight.

While I was on my way home a while ago, I had to think about all the mean things I've said to you. And I found that there were three that I think hurt you the most.

1. You are so annoying.


2. You are one big logical fallacy.


3. You ruin people's romantic fantasies.

I felt like dying. Now that I think about it, I have no right to say those things to you. I'm sorry I said them...

I want to explain myself. I want to tell you why I said them. And how I don't really mean them. But I know that even if I do that, it wouldn't change a thing. I've already said them. No apology could take back the hurt I have already caused.

I'm sorry.

You will find someone like me, someone better than me and when you do, you would forget I ever said you were annoying. You'd forget I ever called you a logical fallacy. You'd forget I said you ruin people's romantic fantasies (especially mine)... But even if you forget, I will always remember. Because it's funny how I say I don't want to hurt you, but I do anyway.


Much love,
Moonlight

PS Oversized shirts are so not you. LOL.
PPS I love you... and I'm counting down the days til... *sigh*
kitten posted @ 9:29 AM