Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Untitled v2
"I know how it feels to want to smile, to try to fit in but you can't. And you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the monster inside..."
~Susanna from Girl Interrupted
Rocklets are good. They are hell good. I've been feeding on them for more than a week now. And they have successfully stopped the tears from falling. Next to slitting your wrists and smoking, they're the next best thing.
If you ask me what it is that's making me sad, I won't be able to tell you. I don't have a reason. Or maybe, I'm just trying to forget the reason because it hurts like hell and I don't want to talk about it. Talking about it only makes it real and I don't want it to be real. I want this, I want everything, to be just a miserable dream I'll wake up from soon...
I saw one of my good friends yesterday. It was good to see a familiar face, a comforting face. It was even better to hear her telling me that I should take care of myself. I've been so used to having someone taking care of me that I've forgotten how to do it.
The words have stopped to flow, you know. I have a bunch of thoughts, but that's all they are. They don't organize themselves into words and lines and paragraphs the way they used to. Writing, after all, is an art.
Art is for the heart... And my heart's broken.
"Lovers shall fade, but love shall not. And death shall have no dominion..."
kitten posted @ 8:46 PM
Randoms things about me
I'm Kitten :)
I get a year older every 17th of August. I am a Leo, and I carry all traits associated with that zodiac.
Right now, I'm twenty years old and I'm loving it. They say we're only as young as we feel. I feel like I'm five.
I would never leave the house without my Zen and my E2. The latter connects me to the world; the former takes me away from it.
If I were to choose a word to describe my life, that word would be
crazy.
I am in love with the stars. I am in love with the rain.
I am a Rutgers University student, and I want to graduate with an English degree. An English-Psych double major would be nice. An English-TCert would be even better.
I want to be a teacher. I want to be writer. I want to be both.
I thrive on indie and emo. Mae, The Spill Canvas, Copeland and Daphne Loves Derby - these are the guys that I listen to. I listen to other bands here and there, but mostly those are the bands I follow. That being said, I'm a mainstream moron.
There's no feeling more lovely than being carried away. People don't usually think of me as somebody spontaneous, but I like being swept away as much as the next girl.
I fall in love easily, but it is really hard for me to fall out. Really hard.
I am very fragile.
I am tolerant of almost everything except one thing: intolerance.
I am an extensive reader. I thirst only for meaning, nothing else.
I love my friends <3
I am extremely spiritual but not religious.
Things I want to do in my life time
Get a job.- Save up enough money to go back home -
wherever that is if I ever had one before I'm 40.
- Write a book.
- Sing for a Disney movie.
- Buy a house on top of a hill.
- Go bunjee jumping.
Travel halfway around the world.- See Italy.
Find the one person who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.Draw and paint.Learn how to play Sudoku.- Volunteer for American/Philippine Red Cross or UNHCR.
Quit smoking.
Kitten recommends:
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince
- Trina Paulus' Hope for the Flowers
- Paulo Coehlo's Eleven Minutes
- Leo Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye
- Neil Gaiman's American Gods
- Anne Rice's Beauty's Release
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- Douglas F. Hofstadter's Godel Escher Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid
- Leonard Mlodinow's Feynman's Rainbow: A Search for Beauty in Physics and in Life
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