*sigh*

Physical pains first, then. My feet hurt, holy shit. Worked from 2pm-11pm last night, went home, slept for like 2 hours, got up at 5.30am, worked from 8 to 6. Yeah. My feet hurt, along will all my other body parts. Especially my hands which, if it interests you, got burned, cut, and squished between toaster doors and register drawers.

Then there's the fact that I still haven't gotten my period. Seven weeks and counting, people, can only result in a very hormonal me. Yep. Hormonaaal.

And I'm sleep deprived, more than ever. I need my sleep. I have essays to write and exams to take. Sleep is good but I haven't had any. Somebody pass me a couple of pills, please.

Today while I was on my way home, all my senses literally shut down. Like, my sight was blurry, music was playing from my Zen but I couldn't exactly hear it, and even the hale-hale's regular putok was unnoticed. The only sense I still had was feeling and I'm sure of that because I certainly felt the excruciating pain from what my mom calls physical overexertion.

*yawns*

Emotional next.

Phil and Candy broke up. God, aren't we all just tired of hearing about these two?! Anyway, you know how I said I'll fix him? Apparently, she found out about what I said, fussed about it AGAIN and Phil just got really, really tired from all the emotional run-arounds and ended it. *sigh*

Sabi ng aking trusted friend, the only reason I'm still affected is because I haven't made up my mind on where I stand on this. That is true, of course. I want the both of them to be happy, but I want to be happy too. I need to be happy too. I deserve to be happy too. But all of this really just boils down to who I think deserves to be happy MORE than the other(s). And, because I am an indecisive jerk, would rather just not pick, lest I be called selfish for picking me and lest I get even more hurt for picking them.

But to be honest, I want to pick me. All that has happened in the last few months lead me to believe that this is worth the fight, if only I was willing enough to actually get into the battle. I am half-certain that we would be happy together. I am sure that if only I had courage enough, all of these hopes would become reality.

I need a couple of valiums.

[p.s. In my heart, I know I always have been and always will be one of the stoner kids. How tragic. That just makes me want to get stoned even more.]

Labels: love, me, nonsense

kitten posted @ 9:15 PM