Things never go the way I want them to sometimes. Or maybe I should say they never go my way ever. I don't know.

I'm sure you know Ray. No, not My-Boss-Rae. Ray. My-perfect-stranger-Ray. Yeah, him. I've decided (Since the last time I saw and lost him.) (How can you lose something you never had?) (I'm using too many parentheses.) that when I see him again that I would

1. Ask him if he likes emo. (And I am confident that he does.)
2. Ask him how old he is. (I could get arrested if he's younger than 18. You can never be too careful.)
3. Ask for his number. And I'm serious too.

So... There I was on that gorgeous Saturday morning, working as usual. When I looked up from what I was doing, I saw a familiar head. Hair. Person. Whatever. Anyway, my brain took like three seconds to process who that was and then it hit me (And, man, it hit me hard!) that it was Ray's cousin/brother/uncle/whatever.

My immediate reaction (Which pissed the hell out of Mai) was to look around the store for Ray. She kept telling me to focus. She was practically screaming at me to pay attention. How was I supposed to pay attention when Ray could be in a 200-meter radius?!

Thirty minutes and thirty customers later and still no Ray. Before I knew it, his cousin/brother/uncle/whatever started walking out the store and that was that.

So yeah. When I finally decided that I was going to come up and talk to him, he's not even there. He's not even there.

How absolutely typical of a man.

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Napapapikit na lang ako in disbelief. Alam mo yun. Nakakapikon. Wala. Hindi lang ako makapaniwala na my dad and I would actually have a conversation about my choice of hairstyle.

Ew. It's so... Junior high. *rolls eyes* I mean, seriously, God. My hair? My hair?! What?! Your constant scrutiny of my friends and my music and everything else that's important to me wasn't enough?! Shit eh.

God I hate living in this house. Everybody's so full of shit. Or themselves. Or both.

Kill me. Kill me now.

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I'm not completely stupid. I know when I'm being used. But the fact that I'm shrugging that off makes me a moron. The moment she asks something from me, I'm running all over the place trying to do her bidding.

I find that there is no reason to fight the urge to do what she wants. I'll end up doing what she asks anyway, won't I? I always have. I always will.

So here's to the physics project I'm about to do, the triumph of having done a good job, and the pain of being used then left.

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Mai and I were looking through a brochure for a condo at The Fort a while ago. Mai goes Eh kasi naman eh! Ang layo ng The Fort.

I've already started walking away from Mai when Ralph says E kung mashadong malayo ang The Fort, dun ka na lang sa The Terd.

*headdesk* I have stupidly intelligent friends. Unbelieeeeevable.

Labels: love, stories, thoughts

kitten posted @ 9:47 PM