The question is not whether I can survive. It's whether I can survive for long.

Opportunity has presented itself to me. I will not lie - I will grab it. But before I do, there are things I need to run through, like the question of whether I can actually survive for long by myself. It's more than a financial question. Sabi ko nga kay Mai, If I move out, I want it to be for good. I need to find a new job because without one, I'll finish off my finances and end up coming home. I don't want to come home with my tail between my legs. I'll move out to prove them wrong, not otherwise. More than a question of money, it is a question of pride. And I am proud. Proud. PROUD.

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Ralph's burps smelled like shampoo a while ago. I never thought people actually try to kill themselves by drinking, er, hair products. It's probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever had to deal with. LOL But I sympathize with the poor man. We all have our bad days, but some of us have a bad life altogether. :(

Hey, Ralph, if you need somebody to slit your wrists, call me! I'd be more than happy to put you out of your misery. Please, no more shampoo. Okay? God.

This reminds me of a girl my aunt told me about.

Yung tita ko kasi, sa ospital nagtatrabaho. Ngayon, minsan sa shift niya, nandun siya sa ER, nagtitingin ng pasyenter. Tapos may nakita siyang babae, namumutla. So nilapitan niya. Sabi nung kasama nun babae, di daw matigil sa pagsuka yung babae kasi nagtry magpakamatay yung babae kaya nagpunta sila sa hospital.

So yung tita ko naman, tiningnan kung uminom ba ng rat poison or what. Eh hindi. Tapos suka talaga ng suka yung babae. Kaso, wala namang solids na nilalabas yung babae. Puro liquid lang.

Nung napalapit yung tita ko, naamoy niya yung hininga nung babae. Tapos inamoy niya ulit. Teka lang. Amoy Baby Bench hininga mo ah. sabi niya. Hindi kumibo yung babae.

Punyeta. Wag mo sabihing uminom ka ng pabango. sabi nun tita ko. Tapos nangilid daw yung luha nung babae. Tawang-tawa daw yung tita ko. Actually, pag naaalala ko, natatawa din ako.

Anyway, pi-nump nila yung stomach nung girl. Kawawa naman. Tapos habang pinu-pump nila yung stomach, as in subo-subo pa nung girl yung tube and everything, sabi nung tita ko, Ilan bang gallon ang ininom mo? sabay hagalpak. Kahit ilang litro pa ang inumin mo, hindi ka mamamatay sa pabango, punyeta.

Oo nga naman. Kahit nga naman ilang litro pa ng Baby Bench ang inumin niya eh hindi siya mamamatay. Malas lang.

I guess today's moral lesson is to stay away from personal care products when you are feeling suicidal. They will not aid in your death. You'll just feel stupid afterwards.

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You know how some people commit suicide because they are failures? And you know how some people live through their attempts? It's like the world is telling you, You're such a failure, you can't even succeed at killing yourself.

It is sad to want to die and have to keep living.

Labels: stories, thoughts

kitten posted @ 10:42 PM