I'm so fucking shaken. God.

Alam niyo ba yung hobo sa may amin? Yung mataba na mabaho na maingay? Hindi? Basta yun. Hobo. Homeless. Takot ako. As in.

Eh kanina, yung mga peste kong katrabaho eh bigla na lang naglaho na parang bula. Unlike before, hindi nila hinintay na dumating yung bus ko. In effect, mag-isa ako na naghihintay malapit sa bus stop. Dahil malamig sa labas, I decided na dun na lang ako sa may foyer ng building maghihintay, tutal kita ko naman yung mga paparating na bus.

So siguro sampung minuto na akong nakatayo dun, wala parin yung bus. Okay lang naman yun, kasi talagang nalelate ang mga bus diba? Para lang yang jeep.

Anyway, biglang nag-emerge ang bespren hobo mula sa lower Newark Ave. Okay lang naman yun. Di naman krimen maglakad diba. Eh tumawid siya papuntang Summit Ave, kung nasa'n ako. Okay lang din yun. Di rin naman krimen ang tumawid diba.

Ang masakit, naglakad na siya papunta sa direction ko. Putangina talaga. Eh di iniisip ko na Please. PLease. Let him ignore me. Please. Let him walk past me. Please. Please. Please.

E di ayan na. Ang bespren hobo. Naglalakad sa tapat na ng foyer kung sa'n ako major pretend to be listening to my tunes at major pretend din na hindi siya nakikita. Nakalampas na siya about two steps lampas ng building.

Eh biglang bumalik. Nag-double take ang walanghiya.

Putangina. Putangina talaga. Sooobrang shiyet. (I think I stopped breathing, I'm not sure.)

He was fucking looking at me. Putangina. He was fucking staring at me. And I wasn't looking up. Ayoko. Kasi sabi ng daddy ko, never look crazy people in they eyes. Basta.

Eh ang kaso, he wasn't going away. He kept staring at me. So when I looked up, I saw him. With this hungry look in his eyes. Smiling na ewan. Tipong kakainin ka na hindi ko maexplain.

:(

*sobs*

Natakot talaga ako. I wasn't moving. I thought he'd leave after that na eh. Alam mo yun. Maling akala eh. He opened the fucking door.

:(

So inisip ko. If he takes one more step near me. I'm going into the building. Bahala na kung gabihin ako.

Eh lumapit ang lolo mo sa'kin.

I don't think I've ever entered the security key to the building that fast. As in. Lightning speed.

So pumasok ako ng building diba. Major scared na kasi ako talaga. Kasi yung look sa face ng lolo mo. Grabe. Di ko na ito kaya. :(

Siyempre, heavy yung door diba, so di sha basta-basta nabubuksan. Okay lang yun. Mabuti nga yun eh. Ang kaso, hindi rin siya basta-basta nasasara.

So just when you think you are safe, life bites you in the ass.

I was on my way to the stairs. That's where I decided I'd stay. Pag lingon ko sa likod ko, don't ask me why I looked back-I think it's instinct-ewan, andun yung hobo.

:(

That's when I lost it. I couldn't believe that (1) I was alone and (2) the hobo got into the bulding and (3) there was nowhere else to go.

You know the scene in horror movies where the victim's trying to get away from the monster by getting into some building and she has trouble working the keys to the door? Totoo pala yun. Shit.

I guess it was because my hands were shaking. I don't know. I had a hard time opening the door to the store. (It was, for the moment, my only sanctuary.) I took like five seconds to fucking open the door, which might not seem so long for you right now, but was very crucial to me then. When I finally got the door to open, I had a hard time getting my keys out naman. Putangina talaga. Hinila ko talaga yung susi ko.

When I got into the store, I pressed my body against the glass door as I fiddled with the keys. Ngayon naman, ayaw masara nung pinto. Shiyet. :( I was really, really scared. In my head, I was running images of the hobo making his way to the store's door and forcing it open. I kept thinking that he was going to bang his fists on the door, break in and...

:(

When I finally got the door to close, I literally just sat myself down behind the door. I didn't even bother walking to the seats.

I realized my heart was beating fast. And I had tears in my eyes. I got my phone and starting looking for people to call. Needless to say, I decided against it. And I just sat there, wondering how I'm supposed to (1) get home and (2) know when he leaves the bulding.

I don't know how long I was sitting there but it must have been long because my phone started ringing. It was my dad. He was looking for me because it was late and I was still out. I told him to come pick me up.

He did. That's how I got home. If he didn't pick me up, I would have stayed there for the night. That's how scared I was.

---------------
Sir Rae's leaving for Cali on the first of next month. I would be happy, but it was the manner by which they asked him back that upsets me. Write about it tomorrow. You know. When I'm not as shaken.

Labels: stories

kitten posted @ 11:28 PM