Wednesday, June 13, 2007
<3 [edit]
Sometimes, people don't know their place in this world. They don't know how much damage they do to the delicate balance of this life just by taking a little step out of line. But then, I step a little out of line once in a while too. Heck, I step out of line all the time, so it's really not my place to be whining.
One of the reasons I've stayed with Red Ribbon for so long is because I've found wonderful friends there. I've found our lovely tripod: Jen, Mai and me. Together, we've laughed, cried, fallen in and out of love and back in again. And leaving the store means leaving them.
We were talking yesterday... Tripod kami. If one of us leaves, then it'll be a dipod. And when another leaves... iPod na! Lol (That was Jen's joke. I borrowed it.) But seriously, we can't have an "iPod" at the store. If one of us leaves, we're all leaving.
And so we begin conniving. Ah! That's such a wonderful word, conniving. But it's literally what we're doing. Mai and I have started looking for other jobs (Actually, I've already found one, it's just a question of whether I want to take it.). Jen, well, she's yet to decide, but we can't leave her there by herself, really. The evil people of Red Ribbon will inevitably eat her up. And when we're finally set for another job slash career, we're leaving. All at once. All at once.
*sigh* When that day comes, I'm sure I'll cry. I have grown to love them. I realize now that I need them more than I think I do.
It's been raining and the rain always brings out the romantic in me.
It was raining and all I could think about was her. How I picked her up from the bus stop one rainy day. How I took of my jacket, gave her my umbrella and walked with her in the rain; I was soaking wet and she was perfectly dry. How, from that single moment, I realized how much I love her, how much I'm willing to give up to have her in my life. How, in my dazed and intoxicated head, I thought she could possibly love me back.
It was so sad watching the rain fall from the sky. It kept falling. And falling. And falling. Like me. I keep falling.
I love her. And I told her. I left her a voicemail and I told her. I feel stupid now. But then love makes everybody stupid.
The reason I love her is still a mystery to me. But I do know one thing: in the words of Secondhand Serenade, I was born to tell her I love her.
Today, Mai called me in tears. Another day for her at work, I heard. And she was crying. Not just whining. Crying.
My heart broke. Heaven help me. I didn't know what to tell her. And I was almost in tears too. I could never stand the thought of one of my friends in so much pain. And believe it or not, while she cried, I only wished that it was me in pain and that, somehow, I could find a way to save her from it.
But I can't always save my friends from their pain. Sometimes they must endure it for themselves, that they may become better children, better parents, better friends, better partners... *sigh*
She wouldn't stop crying. And all I could do was promise her that everything was going to be alright. I don't know that but I hope it's true.
She's leaving for the dorms on July 3rd. I want to do something special for her before she goes. But then... I'm sure Mr. Seventeen-Year-Old (It dawned on me just now how he might have turned eighteen already. Hmm. Well. He's still very much a kid to me. *proud voice* I happen to be turning twenty two months from today.) already has something planned for her. He's the rain on my parade. :(
I can't believe she's going off to college so soon. Wag muna. I need to learn how to get there first! Wag muna. I need to tell you how much I love you first. Please, wag muna. Wag muna... :(
I was telling my friend this and she laughed at me. How can you get so attached to someone who never belonged to you? she kept asking. Never? That's a bit harsh. But she's right. She never belonged to me. I was with her, yes. But her heart was never mine...
kitten posted @ 12:17 PM
