Monday, July 30, 2007
:(
Yesterday, I lit up a cigg and smoked. It's almost funny, because there were about seven of us, and all six of them just went "Whoa. You're smoking again?" The answer is no. I am not smoking again. It's just that I feel that a cigg is par for the course sometimes.
After the initial shock, Mai stood next to me and said "Is it really that bad? If you're smoking, then it's that bad." I forced myself to smile then hugged her. It's amazing how my friends know me and how I handle my problems.
Yes, it's that bad. It feels that my problems have accumulated. I wish that the only problems I have are financial problems, because money problems are always easy to deal with. But no. I have to have problems with my family, with the person I love, with my job... And things just keep taking a turn for the worst.
My aunt always says
Most problems take care of themselves and I agree. I just wish they'd take care of themselves now, before I pick up another cigg and regret it.
---------------The worst thing about secrets, is that when you need to talk about them, you can't. *sigh*
Labels: feelings
kitten posted @ 10:55 PM
Randoms things about me
I'm Kitten :)
I get a year older every 17th of August. I am a Leo, and I carry all traits associated with that zodiac.
Right now, I'm twenty years old and I'm loving it. They say we're only as young as we feel. I feel like I'm five.
I would never leave the house without my Zen and my E2. The latter connects me to the world; the former takes me away from it.
If I were to choose a word to describe my life, that word would be
crazy.
I am in love with the stars. I am in love with the rain.
I am a Rutgers University student, and I want to graduate with an English degree. An English-Psych double major would be nice. An English-TCert would be even better.
I want to be a teacher. I want to be writer. I want to be both.
I thrive on indie and emo. Mae, The Spill Canvas, Copeland and Daphne Loves Derby - these are the guys that I listen to. I listen to other bands here and there, but mostly those are the bands I follow. That being said, I'm a mainstream moron.
There's no feeling more lovely than being carried away. People don't usually think of me as somebody spontaneous, but I like being swept away as much as the next girl.
I fall in love easily, but it is really hard for me to fall out. Really hard.
I am very fragile.
I am tolerant of almost everything except one thing: intolerance.
I am an extensive reader. I thirst only for meaning, nothing else.
I love my friends <3
I am extremely spiritual but not religious.
Things I want to do in my life time
Get a job.- Save up enough money to go back home -
wherever that is if I ever had one before I'm 40.
- Write a book.
- Sing for a Disney movie.
- Buy a house on top of a hill.
- Go bunjee jumping.
Travel halfway around the world.- See Italy.
Find the one person who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.Draw and paint.Learn how to play Sudoku.- Volunteer for American/Philippine Red Cross or UNHCR.
Quit smoking.
Kitten recommends:
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince
- Trina Paulus' Hope for the Flowers
- Paulo Coehlo's Eleven Minutes
- Leo Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye
- Neil Gaiman's American Gods
- Anne Rice's Beauty's Release
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- Douglas F. Hofstadter's Godel Escher Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid
- Leonard Mlodinow's Feynman's Rainbow: A Search for Beauty in Physics and in Life
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