Thursday, February 01, 2007
Doubts, anyone?
I've been fussing about how I'm going to tell Lilo not to do the whole Coast Guard thing. I've been weepy and I've been restless. I knew I could stop him.
The question was whether he'd let himself be stopped.Today he asked me whether I had plans of going back to school. I faked a laugh and said yes. Then he told me:
Ako din, mag-aaral. Ayoko na mag-Coast Guard. Mag-e-LPN na lang ako.I was stunned. I'm even more stunned that I'm not celebratory.
Perhaps what I wanted was a relationship that was doomed so that I could save it and prove myself to be the wonder that I am.---------------We were on our way home. We just walked out of a nearby Dunkin Donuts. I looked up at the sky and saw the lovely month-end moon.
I asked him to go to the park with me and he said yes. A couple of blocks down, he stops and asks me why we were going to the park. I said that I just wanted to sit and look up at the moon. He said he'd just take me home. I never got to share a park bench with him. I never got to look up at my moon.
All I wanted was to look up at the moon. Maybe it didn't make sense to him. Maybe he thought it was a waste of time. Or maybe he was just tired...
Whatever the reason, I doubt whether this is something I want or just something other people want for me. He might be
the perfect guy, but he might not be
the perfect one for me.
Labels: feelings
kitten posted @ 2:12 AM
Randoms things about me
I'm Kitten :)
I get a year older every 17th of August. I am a Leo, and I carry all traits associated with that zodiac.
Right now, I'm twenty years old and I'm loving it. They say we're only as young as we feel. I feel like I'm five.
I would never leave the house without my Zen and my E2. The latter connects me to the world; the former takes me away from it.
If I were to choose a word to describe my life, that word would be
crazy.
I am in love with the stars. I am in love with the rain.
I am a Rutgers University student, and I want to graduate with an English degree. An English-Psych double major would be nice. An English-TCert would be even better.
I want to be a teacher. I want to be writer. I want to be both.
I thrive on indie and emo. Mae, The Spill Canvas, Copeland and Daphne Loves Derby - these are the guys that I listen to. I listen to other bands here and there, but mostly those are the bands I follow. That being said, I'm a mainstream moron.
There's no feeling more lovely than being carried away. People don't usually think of me as somebody spontaneous, but I like being swept away as much as the next girl.
I fall in love easily, but it is really hard for me to fall out. Really hard.
I am very fragile.
I am tolerant of almost everything except one thing: intolerance.
I am an extensive reader. I thirst only for meaning, nothing else.
I love my friends <3
I am extremely spiritual but not religious.
Things I want to do in my life time
Get a job.- Save up enough money to go back home -
wherever that is if I ever had one before I'm 40.
- Write a book.
- Sing for a Disney movie.
- Buy a house on top of a hill.
- Go bunjee jumping.
Travel halfway around the world.- See Italy.
Find the one person who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.Draw and paint.Learn how to play Sudoku.- Volunteer for American/Philippine Red Cross or UNHCR.
Quit smoking.
Kitten recommends:
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince
- Trina Paulus' Hope for the Flowers
- Paulo Coehlo's Eleven Minutes
- Leo Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye
- Neil Gaiman's American Gods
- Anne Rice's Beauty's Release
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- Douglas F. Hofstadter's Godel Escher Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid
- Leonard Mlodinow's Feynman's Rainbow: A Search for Beauty in Physics and in Life
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