Ah! Today, I have a lot to say, so if you don't have the time and/or the patience to read, I suggest you close the window right now. :) (And, yes, that was a smile. Today, I'm not the Princess of Darkness.)

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First part of the agenda: Stampede

Like I was scared. (Ew. Did that just sound the way I think it did?) And I mean it too. After a while, the fear was fading and I came to an important realization:

People do have the might to come after what they want.

So why the hell is the country suffering?! I mean, where's all this might when we need effective change? *makes a face* I can't believe this.

I invaded into my friend's blog kanina and I would like you to do the same. Click me.

Assuming you have gone to my friend's blog and we successfully invaded his world some more *snigger* here's what I have to say: Nakakalungkot. I'm upset for a lot of reasons. For one, some (some, not all) Filipinos are disappointing. *palms head* I'm not just talking about the people who, instead of looking for jobs, were there in Ultra to join the lottery of a lifetime (Well, that's what it is.). I'm also talking about the people who organized this event and obviously failed to plan ahead. Kung baga, they were a little too optimistic. They didn't anticipate this because that's what they were - too optimistic. *sigh* Kasama narin sa mga disappointing people ang mga taong nagrereklamo sa nangyari, at kasama na ako dun. I could be doing something useful right now instead of pointing out their faults. But no. I'd rather be the Princess of Darkness and do this. The hell with me. (That didn't sound right, now did it?)

For another, wala akong magawa. Gusto ko baguhin lahat ng trash na meron ngayon dito sa (as Ting put it in his blog) God-forsaken country na ito. Pero wala akong magawa. Wala. Maybe that's the reason I have resorted to bad-mouthing this country. I'm just so powerless that I hope pointing out all this nonsense might make up for my inability to do anything useful. And isn't that sad? To think that you're powerless to do anything useful for your country? God, it's a tragedy. (Especially for an Iska.) (Yes, I still think I am an Iska.) At hindi lang ako ang walang magawa. Pare-pareho tayong walang magawa. Think of it this way, if we could do something to change all this do you actually think we'd prolong the agony and let things get this bad? I think not.

*sigh* Ngayon, naiisip ko na malaki akong irony. Kung di mo maintindihan kung bakit ako irony, balikan mo lang yung mga tinype ko kanina at malalaman mo. Kung di mo parin malaman, patulong ka na sa iba. :)

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Second part of the agenda: Go ahead and do it.

So, para maintindihan niyo yung susunod na ramblings ko, papabasa ko sa inyo ang ilang bahagi ng pag-uusap namin ng isa kong malapit na kaibigan. :) [*-yun ung kaibigan ko. kuting_kuneho-ako yun] [yung mga emphasis ako na lang ang naglagay niyang mga yan.]

*: ...hey, what if you start seeing someone in a different light? like, you let go of this person for some stupid reason, and then realize that you actually like that person. what're you gonna do about it?
kuting_kuneho: bang your head on the wall is a good start. grab coke and vodka. then walk up to that person's door. :D
kuting_kuneho: i'm kidding.
kuting_kuneho: let go... let go as in... you left this person for someone else?
*: no, i just didn't feel the same way then. c'mon, for another person? i don't even think i've ever been in love lol banging my head does sound good now
kuting_kuneho: well, so you like that person NOW, right? does that person like you? coz if that person'll just dump you you might as well forget about it. :D haha. this is just the coke talking. :D
...
kuting_kuneho: well, let me ask you this. can you tell if she likes you now? even in the slightest? i think she does. *shrugs*
*: well i hope so, im just scared. i mean how often do you find someone like her? just the fact that she's a girl's already a big thing. i just don't want to put myself out there., i've kind of been avoiding her. i didn't even invite her to the movie i watched with my friends last friday. stupid=me
kuting_kuneho: it happens. :D anyway, if you really like her as much as i think you do, then i'd say just go ahead and tell her. don't think about it too much though coz you might chicken out. :P just do it. :))
*: i'll take your advice. i just called her. thank god she didn't pick up! omg! i was stuttering and all i said was i need to talk to you tomorrow and hung up! omgomgomg
...
kuting_kuneho: ...i'm leaving. pero i think we have a chance to make it if we want to.
kuting_kuneho: but. god. i don't know.
kuting_kuneho: whew!
*: well, from experience i wouldn't. because half of my one and only relationship was long distance, and she ended up hurting me really bad, and there was a guy before me. but i guess if you guy's are strong enough to come back together after all these years, then you're strong enough to get through this
kuting_kuneho: i haven't spoken to her in a while. see, we've been fighting a lot ... i guess i'm scared.
kuting_kuneho: *headdesk*
*: im sorry but i think it's funny that we're in both in a dilemma lol. go for it if it makes you happy, and if you really love her...
kuting_kuneho: it is... *sigh* i think we could make it work. i really do. i just don't know what she thinks. :P
*: well, you told me to go for it, it'll be good if you would too
*: :)
kuting_kuneho:

i hate it when people do that. throwing things right back at me.

kuting_kuneho: :)
*: im sorry, it's true though...
...

Right after that last message the girl my friend liked called and god knows what happened. My friend had to go offline and I can only wish that only the best happened. *crosses fingers*

So, on to business, gusto ko siyang makasama ulit. I must be crazy, thinking that we can make it through. But love makes you do crazy things and, for the nth time, I think I'm in love.

So ngayon eh nagtatalo ang aking mga damdamin. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na siya na siguro ang pinakamahalagang bahagi ng buhay ko pero, ano ba, di ko pwede/kayang sabihin iyon. Tss. Pero ang lakas ng loob kong sabihin sa kaibigan ko na Go ahead and tell her... Just do it. *headdesk*

Nasisiraan na siguro ako ng bait. Anak ng tipaklong. Bakit naman ngayon ko pa naramdaman ito para sa kaniya? Ay, oo nga pala. Kasi nung huling beses na maramdaman ko ito para sa kaniya, huli na ang lahat... May iba na siyang kasama. :(

*sigh* I need a new and better hobby. Something that will effectively take my mind off of you.

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We're leaving! Wah. Feb something na ngayon. Eh Feb 18 kami aalis eh! Anak ng tipaklong! :(

So, ayan, nabuhay nanaman ang desire ko na lumayas dito sa bahay namin at hindi magpakitang muli sa kanilang muli nang malaya kong magawa ang lahat ng gusto kong gawin! Tapos bigla kong naisip: Ano ba ang gusto kong gawin?

I'm afraid, right now, I don't have an answer to that question. :( Kaya, gusto ko mang lumayas na at gawin lahat ng gusto ko, hindi pwede - literal.

*sigh* Where are the cute, little teddies when you need them? *weeps*
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Napapagod na si James Blunt kakakanta ng You're Beautiful sa player ko. Kawawa naman siya.

But it's time to face the truth: I will never be with you...

Sabi nga nung friend ko, "It's the story of my life."
kitten posted @ 4:58 AM