Friday, May 28, 2004
i wish he didn't love me...
hm… i don’t know what to feel… i just found out he loved me… i didn’t think it could happen… i guess i was scared like him… we were afraid to let it happen that we pretended there was nothing going on, and that was our biggest mistake…
now the possibilities are endless, anything could happen now, but we have put our music at stake… our band’s music… i didn’t think this would happen, and now that it has, i don’t know what to do… i could either 1) continue loving him and forget about the band, or 2) forget him in the name of music… i’m torn… two of the most important things were lain in the line and it’s not that easy to choose… argh… i really hate this… but just to make it clear, i don’t regret anything, at least not yet…
i should be happy, now that i know he loves me… but i’m not in any way glad or ecstatic … and i can’t explain why…
our big brother in the band said we should just forget about it because a relationship isn’t good in band, it’s the first thing that ruins the band... my friend says if i keep love in a bottle it’s bound to explode…
the thing that made all of this complicated was the fact that he loved me, and somehow, i wish he didn’t…
kitten posted @ 6:41 PM
Randoms things about me
I'm Kitten :)
I get a year older every 17th of August. I am a Leo, and I carry all traits associated with that zodiac.
Right now, I'm twenty years old and I'm loving it. They say we're only as young as we feel. I feel like I'm five.
I would never leave the house without my Zen and my E2. The latter connects me to the world; the former takes me away from it.
If I were to choose a word to describe my life, that word would be
crazy.
I am in love with the stars. I am in love with the rain.
I am a Rutgers University student, and I want to graduate with an English degree. An English-Psych double major would be nice. An English-TCert would be even better.
I want to be a teacher. I want to be writer. I want to be both.
I thrive on indie and emo. Mae, The Spill Canvas, Copeland and Daphne Loves Derby - these are the guys that I listen to. I listen to other bands here and there, but mostly those are the bands I follow. That being said, I'm a mainstream moron.
There's no feeling more lovely than being carried away. People don't usually think of me as somebody spontaneous, but I like being swept away as much as the next girl.
I fall in love easily, but it is really hard for me to fall out. Really hard.
I am very fragile.
I am tolerant of almost everything except one thing: intolerance.
I am an extensive reader. I thirst only for meaning, nothing else.
I love my friends <3
I am extremely spiritual but not religious.
Things I want to do in my life time
Get a job.- Save up enough money to go back home -
wherever that is if I ever had one before I'm 40.
- Write a book.
- Sing for a Disney movie.
- Buy a house on top of a hill.
- Go bunjee jumping.
Travel halfway around the world.- See Italy.
Find the one person who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.Draw and paint.Learn how to play Sudoku.- Volunteer for American/Philippine Red Cross or UNHCR.
Quit smoking.
Kitten recommends:
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince
- Trina Paulus' Hope for the Flowers
- Paulo Coehlo's Eleven Minutes
- Leo Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye
- Neil Gaiman's American Gods
- Anne Rice's Beauty's Release
- Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs
- Douglas F. Hofstadter's Godel Escher Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid
- Leonard Mlodinow's Feynman's Rainbow: A Search for Beauty in Physics and in Life
Credits
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